No doubt that divorce is not that type of event we would like to experience in our lives once we decide to say „yes” and build a life with the one we believe is the right person for our future. It’s in our human nature to experience the desire of having a family in this world, and Muslim societies support this aspect even more than other type of communities, showing a strong understanding when it comes to marriage and traditions that a man and wife should follow. From a very young age, Muslim girls are being educated by their elder female family members to become rightful brides, sisters and mothers, so things should go perfectly fine when the marriage time comes for each of them. But what happens if the fairytale turns into a nightmare? How these traditional young women manage to rebuild their lives once their partners dissapoint them in a society where the man is seen as women’s protector?
I had the chance to speak to some of these broken heart ladies and their confessions surprised me in a pleasant way, when I saw how strong they can be. The conclusion? Women nowadays are decided to fight and win no matter where they are born and what culture they embrace. The divorce is no longer considered a black dot in their social profiles, but a reason to show the world that in each of them there is a leader or a mother ready to stand against the world for her children’s wellbeing. Here is a relevant story to be mentioned in our today’s article.
Nadia, 28 from Syria: „At the beginning I was scared thinking that I will no longer have food or clothes for my 5 years old boy. My husband used to beat me and wait for my money that I was earning as a maid, working for some wealthy ladies from our neighbourhood. He usually used to spend my money at his regular coffeeshop with friends. Always smoking shisha and never thinking to find a job that would make his son live better. Once, after having a conversation with my father who passed away last spring, I’ve decided that I would no longer allow him to spend my earnings on his outgoings. He got angry and extremely violent with me, in front of our son. The divorce process was long and difficult, but that was not the worst part. The most difficult side of the story for me, as an Arab woman, was to introduce myself in front of people, as a single mother. They are used to blame you without actually knowing anything about your story. By time, things got better and I started to earn even more money than before. Now I sell handmade bags, too. Is not alot, but it helps me feed Youssef”. After finishing her confession, Nadia tries to hide her tears behind the blue hijab that covers her hair. She’s so beautiful and young. And brave too, I would say. Of course, inside the Arab world Nadia is just one of so many divorced women cases, but she is the hope that in the future, young mothers won’t be that scared to let behind toxic marriages. She was lucky too, because in some other cases, divorce means also a separation between a mother and child. This action comes usually from father’s family side or from the ex husband, himself, angry for being left by his wife. And even if Qur’aan, the holy book of Islam, blames whoever separates a mother from her baby, some Muslims men choose to adjust the religion according to their personal ego, and in this way they leave behind the true teachings of Allah. I hope that in the future less and less mothers will experience the pain of child separation, and wives will be brave to end a marriage when they’ll see the red flags of abuse. God bless humanity!